I'm a masochist

Lately I've been feeling overwhelmed by my financial situation. Understandably, considering I have $60,000 in student loans and an entry level  job. Even though I've tacked on 3 side hustles and work as much as I can, I feel like I'm barely making a dent or simply spinning my wheels.

As I think about it, I sometimes like to tell myself to be patient and not to beat myself up if it feels slow. I look for any opportunity to do extra work and I've exceeded all my recent savings goals. But then sometimes I realize I'm a masochist.

I don't just mean how I woke up one morning this week and realized I scratched my nose in my sleep to the point of having an obvious scab.

I mean no matter how much I want to meet these goals, I sabotage myself and delay progress. I realized I could already be at my savings goal if I didn't deplete my savings a few months ago to reduce my credit card balance. And even after making that sacrifice, my credit card balance climbed it's way right back up.

I try to be frugal for the most part but then I splurge on things I don't need and poof, my frugal efforts are worthless. It has become a vicious cycle and I'm sick of it. I need to stop sabotaging myself. I work way too much to have so little to show for it.

This is my come to Jesus pep talk as I buckle down to wrap up the year. I want to hit $4,000 in savings and pay off some serious debt in 2014. That's not going to happen if I keep my bad financial habits.

There's a weight loss quote that says, "nothing tastes as good as healthy feels." Well that's true for debt too. Nothing I splurge on is worth staying in debt for. I won't become an extremist but I need to buckle down and make my hard work literally pay off.

Here's to changes and kicking of 2014 with a bang!