Thursday, December 5, 2013

I'm a masochist

Lately I've been feeling overwhelmed by my financial situation. Understandably, considering I have $60,000 in student loans and an entry level  job. Even though I've tacked on 3 side hustles and work as much as I can, I feel like I'm barely making a dent or simply spinning my wheels.

As I think about it, I sometimes like to tell myself to be patient and not to beat myself up if it feels slow. I look for any opportunity to do extra work and I've exceeded all my recent savings goals. But then sometimes I realize I'm a masochist.

I don't just mean how I woke up one morning this week and realized I scratched my nose in my sleep to the point of having an obvious scab.

I mean no matter how much I want to meet these goals, I sabotage myself and delay progress. I realized I could already be at my savings goal if I didn't deplete my savings a few months ago to reduce my credit card balance. And even after making that sacrifice, my credit card balance climbed it's way right back up.

I try to be frugal for the most part but then I splurge on things I don't need and poof, my frugal efforts are worthless. It has become a vicious cycle and I'm sick of it. I need to stop sabotaging myself. I work way too much to have so little to show for it.

This is my come to Jesus pep talk as I buckle down to wrap up the year. I want to hit $4,000 in savings and pay off some serious debt in 2014. That's not going to happen if I keep my bad financial habits.

There's a weight loss quote that says, "nothing tastes as good as healthy feels." Well that's true for debt too. Nothing I splurge on is worth staying in debt for. I won't become an extremist but I need to buckle down and make my hard work literally pay off.

Here's to changes and kicking of 2014 with a bang!


  1. Tell yourself no now so you can tell yourself yes later!

  2. I'm with ya girl. It's HARD. Our budget is constantly a work in progress.... even though we've made HUGE changes this year, we still mess up and we still could do better. I'm excited for 2014 and to really kick things into high gear- I know you can too!!! :)